Learning to Say “No”

woman, question mark, person

I am getting better at it now, but I used to never be able to say “No”.  I think partly because I have always been a “people pleaser” and don’t want to disappoint anyone, and partly because I have always had an interest in lots of different things, and have been able to do, or at least make a pretty good attempt at doing, most anything I decide to put my mind to.  But in the last several years, I have finally and thankfully (because it’s about time!) been making some progress at learning how to trust God with my decisions. Lord have mercy this is not an easy feat for control freaks like me!  And I seriously feel sorry for God having to put up with me and my stubbornness!  In all seriousness, what I am realizing is that saying YES to God might mean saying NO to things, even things such as comfort or things I really want to do, or that I am pretty good at doing. I must be willing to trust His timing with his direction for me. You know that chair we all have in the corner of our bedroom with the cool pillow and perfectly patterned throw draped across its back. It’s purpose being to not only provide a comfortable place to sit, but to add the perfect accent to set off a warm inviting feel to anyone who comes in the room. Well, if you’re like me, by the end of a work week, it doesn’t take long for that comfortable and inviting accent chair to end up hidden under a pile of worn jeans and tops, a bra or two, and a few dirty sock pairs all piled up on top of it forming a rather large mound of a mess.  The intended purpose for that chair has, instead, ended up becoming the ever popular “catch all” chair.  You see, when we fail to seek God’s direction and blindly say YES to everything being asked of us, we become just like that “catch all” chair.  Eventually we end up with our own created “YES” list piled so high on our plates that God’s intended purpose for us gets lost in the mess, losing our ability to stay focused on His direction for us. What happens with me is that there are times when I will say YES to something I am not yet sure God is saying Yes too.  I will justify my decision just like I do with my “catch-all” chair when I take off yet another piece of clothing and sling it across the back telling myself that piling clothes on my chair will be ok for now because I am keeping them off the floor, and preventing a cluttered mess I have to walk over right ?  Just like I say YES to piling clothes on my chair, I go ahead and say YES to the next thing telling myself that I need to because I am really good at it,  or that I am doing something positive by doing it, so it’s ok to do it, right ?  Well, If it wasn’t directed by God the answer is wrong, wrong, and wrong again!  All this justifying is just one of the enemy’s sneaky ways to continually keep us off track from experiencing God’s unique and intended purpose for each of us.  Just like our chair’s intended purpose for being in our bedroom is not to be used for piling dirty clothes on top of it,  God didn’t create us to be able to, nor does he intend for us to say YES to everything.  He created us to depend on Him and to seek His direction for when to say YES and then by all means say YES to the call without hesitation.  He wants us to trust His guidance with every decision we make, even if we may not see or understand or even want what He knows is best for us at that time. And yes, even if It may be uncomfortable or cause us fear.  This is where learning to trust Him comes in.  His promise to us is that if we continually choose to put our trust in Him, He will continually work through us and our lives without fail to ultimately bring us the greatest level of peace and joy we could ever want from that of a life having attempted to manage on our own.

“In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.”

Proverbs 3:6